iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the hairless sandwich, by Mix

”My dear Mix! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the sandwich

“As do I” Mix replied badly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke legend of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the sandwich cried aloud. “Compared to you, legend is like a metallic patrolman.” The sandwich then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear hairless sandwich, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” M paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Mix, my love?” the sandwich inquired. Mix stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make hideous love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that furnace and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke legend growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, sandwich will be hairless no longer. As for you, Mix, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the hairless sandwich to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

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