Yavuz Sultan Selim

Yavuz Sultan Selim's self-summary

Yavuz Sultan Selim is a gorgeous 8 foot 8 inch tall individual who could easily pass as a human being. They have long, deadly hair the color of a rough-skinned newt, and greedy eyes. They are currently on the prowl for a lucky partner to date, scatter, and fuck (in that order).

What Yavuz Sultan Selim is doing with their life

Yavuz Sultan Selim runs a succesful coffee pot harvesting farm. The process is a trade secret, but the results clearly speak for themselves. Every day, Yavuz Sultan Selim selects the most disgusting coffee pot, and loads up the back seat of their car with the prized harvet. They then sell the coffee pot at a local market, which fetches a pretty penny.

Yavuz Sultan Selim also is part of a comedy podcast

Yavuz Sultan Selim is really good at

Having an orgasm face that looks exactly sexy.

Yavuz Sultan Selim spends a lot of time thinking about

The legality of their business, and what to do when a coffee pot turns out to be more hysterical than disgusting.

You should message Yavuz Sultan Selim if

You'd like to give them a hand with their work, and perhaps a hand when the two of you are done working, if you know what I mean. Yavuz Sultan Selim would also like to hear from you if you've recently passed your bar exam, or if you're looking to make money without asking too many questions.