Yavuz Sultan Selim

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the demanding sandwich, by Yavuz Sultan Selim

”My dear Yavuz Sultan Selim! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the sandwich

“As do I” Yavuz Sultan Selim replied loosely. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke puppy of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the sandwich cried aloud. “Compared to you, puppy is like a underhanded dog poop.” The sandwich then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear demanding sandwich, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” Y paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Yavuz Sultan Selim, my love?” the sandwich inquired. Yavuz Sultan Selim stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make costumed love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that kitty and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke puppy growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, sandwich will be demanding no longer. As for you, Yavuz Sultan Selim, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”


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Yavuz Sultan Selim has appeared in:

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