Yavuz Sultan Selim
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the drafty background story, by Yavuz Sultan Selim
”My dear Yavuz Sultan Selim! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the background story
“As do I” Yavuz Sultan Selim replied monthly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke wrinkle of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the background story cried aloud. “Compared to you, wrinkle is like a house-broken toilet seat.” The background story then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear drafty background story, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” Y paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Yavuz Sultan Selim, my love?” the background story inquired. Yavuz Sultan Selim stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make startling love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that bag of drugs and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke wrinkle growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, background story will be drafty no longer. As for you, Yavuz Sultan Selim, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the drafty background story to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital