vampiresoftware
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the shaky pistol, by vampiresoftware
”My dear vampiresoftware! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the pistol
“As do I” vampiresoftware replied speedily. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke terrible rock band of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the pistol cried aloud. “Compared to you, terrible rock band is like a haunting broken bra.” The pistol then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear shaky pistol, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” v paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it vampiresoftware, my love?” the pistol inquired. vampiresoftware stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make drafty love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that dingle berry and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke terrible rock band growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, pistol will be shaky no longer. As for you, vampiresoftware, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the shaky pistol to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital