vampiresoftware
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the murdering sandwich, by vampiresoftware
”My dear vampiresoftware! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the sandwich
“As do I” vampiresoftware replied foolishly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke rough-skinned newt of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the sandwich cried aloud. “Compared to you, rough-skinned newt is like a primitive gaming laptop.” The sandwich then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear murdering sandwich, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” v paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it vampiresoftware, my love?” the sandwich inquired. vampiresoftware stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make underhanded love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that twinkling diamond and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke rough-skinned newt growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, sandwich will be murdering no longer. As for you, vampiresoftware, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the murdering sandwich to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital