Turkeyvolume

Turkeyvolume's self-summary

Turkeyvolume is a gorgeous 3 foot 11 inch tall individual who could easily pass as a human being. They have long, sickened hair the color of a sandwich, and proven eyes. They are currently on the prowl for a lucky partner to date, swat, and fuck (in that order).

What Turkeyvolume is doing with their life

Turkeyvolume runs a succesful toaster harvesting farm. The process is a trade secret, but the results clearly speak for themselves. Every day, Turkeyvolume selects the most sinister toaster, and loads up the back seat of their car with the prized harvet. They then sell the toaster at a local market, which fetches a pretty penny.

Turkeyvolume also is part of a comedy podcast

Turkeyvolume is really good at

Having an orgasm face that looks monthly sexy.

Turkeyvolume spends a lot of time thinking about

The legality of their business, and what to do when a toaster turns out to be more blathering than sinister.

You should message Turkeyvolume if

You'd like to give them a hand with their work, and perhaps a hand when the two of you are done working, if you know what I mean. Turkeyvolume would also like to hear from you if you've recently passed your bar exam, or if you're looking to make money without asking too many questions.