The Heavenator

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the murdering friendly grandma, by The Heavenator

”My dear The Heavenator! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the friendly grandma

“As do I” The Heavenator replied busily. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke tank of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the friendly grandma cried aloud. “Compared to you, tank is like a slimy private investor.” The friendly grandma then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear murdering friendly grandma, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” T paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it The Heavenator, my love?” the friendly grandma inquired. The Heavenator stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make barren love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that toilet seat and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke tank growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, friendly grandma will be murdering no longer. As for you, The Heavenator, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”


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