The Heavenator

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the startling dingle berry, by The Heavenator

”My dear The Heavenator! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the dingle berry

“As do I” The Heavenator replied badly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke toilet seat of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the dingle berry cried aloud. “Compared to you, toilet seat is like a sexy pistol.” The dingle berry then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear startling dingle berry, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” T paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it The Heavenator, my love?” the dingle berry inquired. The Heavenator stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make oak love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that pair of hairy legs and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke toilet seat growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, dingle berry will be startling no longer. As for you, The Heavenator, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the startling dingle berry to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

$13.99 Digital