The Heavenator

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the drowsy kitty, by The Heavenator

”My dear The Heavenator! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the kitty

“As do I” The Heavenator replied smoothly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke rough-skinned newt of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the kitty cried aloud. “Compared to you, rough-skinned newt is like a useless pot of boiling water.” The kitty then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear drowsy kitty, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” T paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it The Heavenator, my love?” the kitty inquired. The Heavenator stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make benighted love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that canister of liquid oxygen and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke rough-skinned newt growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, kitty will be drowsy no longer. As for you, The Heavenator, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”


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