The Heavenator

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the unseeing dog poop, by The Heavenator

”My dear The Heavenator! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the dog poop

“As do I” The Heavenator replied correctly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke pistol of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the dog poop cried aloud. “Compared to you, pistol is like a loyal corn cake.” The dog poop then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear unseeing dog poop, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” T paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it The Heavenator, my love?” the dog poop inquired. The Heavenator stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make studded love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that pair of hairy legs and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke pistol growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, dog poop will be unseeing no longer. As for you, The Heavenator, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the unseeing dog poop to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

$13.99 Digital