Spaced God

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the startling blood splatter, by Spaced God

”My dear Spaced God! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the blood splatter

“As do I” Spaced God replied cautiously. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke puppy of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the blood splatter cried aloud. “Compared to you, puppy is like a zippy weed whacker.” The blood splatter then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear startling blood splatter, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” S paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Spaced God, my love?” the blood splatter inquired. Spaced God stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make spitfire love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that mess and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke puppy growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, blood splatter will be startling no longer. As for you, Spaced God, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”


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