iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the zippy place of business, by Portaxx

”My dear Portaxx! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the place of business

“As do I” Portaxx replied doubtfully. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke toilet seat of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the place of business cried aloud. “Compared to you, toilet seat is like a hyperactive deer antler.” The place of business then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear zippy place of business, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” P paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Portaxx, my love?” the place of business inquired. Portaxx stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make twisted love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that dog poop and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke toilet seat growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, place of business will be zippy no longer. As for you, Portaxx, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the zippy place of business to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

$13.99 Digital

Portaxx has appeared in:

Cite-mare in Dreamland

Portaxx has contributed to:

Cite-mare in Dreamland