Portaxx
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the drafty coffee pot, by Portaxx
”My dear Portaxx! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the coffee pot
“As do I” Portaxx replied easily. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke friendly grandma of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the coffee pot cried aloud. “Compared to you, friendly grandma is like a engrossed french chef.” The coffee pot then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear drafty coffee pot, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” P paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Portaxx, my love?” the coffee pot inquired. Portaxx stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make sinister love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that haunted graveyard and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke friendly grandma growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, coffee pot will be drafty no longer. As for you, Portaxx, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the drafty coffee pot to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital