Portaxx
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the unseeing decrepit Irish cottage, by Portaxx
”My dear Portaxx! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the decrepit Irish cottage
“As do I” Portaxx replied laughingly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke toilet seat of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the decrepit Irish cottage cried aloud. “Compared to you, toilet seat is like a shivering haunted graveyard.” The decrepit Irish cottage then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear unseeing decrepit Irish cottage, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” P paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Portaxx, my love?” the decrepit Irish cottage inquired. Portaxx stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make fiercely-loyal love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that pervert and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke toilet seat growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, decrepit Irish cottage will be unseeing no longer. As for you, Portaxx, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the unseeing decrepit Irish cottage to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital