Portaxx

Portaxx's self-summary

Portaxx is a gorgeous 4 foot 8 inch tall individual who could easily pass as a human being. They have long, sadistic hair the color of a pistol, and unseeing eyes. They are currently on the prowl for a lucky partner to date, suck in, and fuck (in that order).

What Portaxx is doing with their life

Portaxx runs a succesful private investor harvesting farm. The process is a trade secret, but the results clearly speak for themselves. Every day, Portaxx selects the most hateful private investor, and loads up the back seat of their car with the prized harvet. They then sell the private investor at a local market, which fetches a pretty penny.

Portaxx also is part of a comedy podcast

Portaxx is really good at

Having an orgasm face that looks unexpectedly sexy.

Portaxx spends a lot of time thinking about

The legality of their business, and what to do when a private investor turns out to be more hysterical than hateful.

You should message Portaxx if

You'd like to give them a hand with their work, and perhaps a hand when the two of you are done working, if you know what I mean. Portaxx would also like to hear from you if you've recently passed your bar exam, or if you're looking to make money without asking too many questions.