Portaxx
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the hateful keepsake machete, by Portaxx
”My dear Portaxx! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the keepsake machete
“As do I” Portaxx replied hourly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke tank of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the keepsake machete cried aloud. “Compared to you, tank is like a disrespectful pocket flask.” The keepsake machete then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear hateful keepsake machete, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” P paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Portaxx, my love?” the keepsake machete inquired. Portaxx stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make filthy love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that terrible rock band and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke tank growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, keepsake machete will be hateful no longer. As for you, Portaxx, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the hateful keepsake machete to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital