Portaxx

wikiHow To Cure Your Crippling Addiction to Portaxx

We’ve all had moments of weakness, where we can’t help but fall in love with Portaxx’s voice. It’s a natural part of life, and only shows that you are human. However, some people may not want to be addicted to the cruel-hearted quality of Portaxx’s voice, so here are a few steps you can follow to break free.

Method 1: Realize there’s nothing wrong with your addiction

Step 1: It’s okay to love listening to Portaxx’s voice. It’s really fine. Just make sure you limit your activities to just listening.

Step 2: Consider why you want to stop being addicted. Are your parents making you stop? Would they rather you take up their boring family tradition of knitting a yarn weed whacker every night next to the fireplace? Explain to them that you can knit while listening to podcast.

Method 2: Stop listening to Portaxx

Step 1: Try to find an episode that Portaxx is in, but where Portaxx isn’t actively participating or being funny. It’s Extra Credit after all, so there’s bound to be at least a dozen episodes where that’s bound to be the case.

Step 2: Move on to episodes where Portaxx is not listed in the credits. It’ll feel like you’re about to hear Portaxx’s voice at any moment, and the anticipation might put you in a studded state of mind, but the best way out is through.

Step 3: It’s okay to relapse. You may find yourself missing that cruel-hearted voice, and those useless tones of voice. If you find this process too hard, just faithfully put on an episode in which Portaxx is in, and take a few days before you try again.

Step 4: Listen to voice repeatedly. Sometimes the best way to stop smoking is to smoke a whole carton in one sitting, to the point where you grow sick of it. In that same vein, find a few of Portaxx’s episodes, cut out all the other voices and the music, and put the results on loop. Make sure to listen carefully to how Portaxx occasionally mispronounces a word or flubs a really easy joke setup. Eventually you may find you will grow tired of listening!

Tips

• Try switching to a more lossy audio format, to see if the lower quality helps break your addiction.
• Make sure you really want to break your addiction before you begin. You may actually be fine, and it’s everyone around you that really has a problem

Warnings

• Be careful listening to too much of Portaxx’s voice in one session! You could easily overdose, or cause serious damage to your ears. If you’re going to listen like this, then at the very least don’t listen alone! Always have a friend nearby whose not partaking, and who is able and willing to care for you