Napoleon Blownapart
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the hateful pot of boiling water, by Napoleon Blownapart
”My dear Napoleon Blownapart! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the pot of boiling water
“As do I” Napoleon Blownapart replied noisily. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke famous landscape painting of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the pot of boiling water cried aloud. “Compared to you, famous landscape painting is like a slap happy canister of liquid oxygen.” The pot of boiling water then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear hateful pot of boiling water, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” N paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Napoleon Blownapart, my love?” the pot of boiling water inquired. Napoleon Blownapart stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make offensive love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that pocket flask and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke famous landscape painting growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, pot of boiling water will be hateful no longer. As for you, Napoleon Blownapart, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the hateful pot of boiling water to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital