Napoleon Blownapart
Wanted by the FBI: Napoleon Blownapart
The FBI is offering a reward of up to $33,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator Napoleon Blownapart.
Remarks:
Napoleon Blownapart has the following tattoos: a sandwich on their lower back; a blood splatter atop a volcanic crater on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a multi-billionaire on their forehead.
Details:
Napoleon Blownapart is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera never attacking the store clerk with a knife. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $8000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted Napoleon Blownapart two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered knife to a confused homeless person. If you see Napoleon Blownapart, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described Napoleon Blownapart to be as “emerging, loyal, and a terrible dresser to boot.”