Napoleon Blownapart
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the drafty mess, by Napoleon Blownapart
”My dear Napoleon Blownapart! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the mess
“As do I” Napoleon Blownapart replied silently. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke famous landscape painting of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the mess cried aloud. “Compared to you, famous landscape painting is like a sticky sweet tailpipe.” The mess then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear drafty mess, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” N paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Napoleon Blownapart, my love?” the mess inquired. Napoleon Blownapart stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make violent love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that broken bra and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke famous landscape painting growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, mess will be drafty no longer. As for you, Napoleon Blownapart, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the drafty mess to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital