Napoleon Blownapart
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the useless deer antler, by Napoleon Blownapart
”My dear Napoleon Blownapart! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the deer antler
“As do I” Napoleon Blownapart replied perfectly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke blood splatter of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the deer antler cried aloud. “Compared to you, blood splatter is like a swelling rough-skinned newt.” The deer antler then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear useless deer antler, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” N paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Napoleon Blownapart, my love?” the deer antler inquired. Napoleon Blownapart stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make underhanded love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that tank and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke blood splatter growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, deer antler will be useless no longer. As for you, Napoleon Blownapart, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the useless deer antler to find out what happens next!
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