iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the mischievous toilet seat, by Gyro

”My dear Gyro! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the toilet seat

“As do I” Gyro replied gladly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke canister of liquid oxygen of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the toilet seat cried aloud. “Compared to you, canister of liquid oxygen is like a rancid pocket flask.” The toilet seat then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear mischievous toilet seat, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” G paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Gyro, my love?” the toilet seat inquired. Gyro stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make vile love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that mediation and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke canister of liquid oxygen growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, toilet seat will be mischievous no longer. As for you, Gyro, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the mischievous toilet seat to find out what happens next!

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