Goose

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the fiercely-loyal blood splatter, by Goose

”My dear Goose! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the blood splatter

“As do I” Goose replied cheerfully. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke pistol of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the blood splatter cried aloud. “Compared to you, pistol is like a emerging nibblet.” The blood splatter then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear fiercely-loyal blood splatter, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” G paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Goose, my love?” the blood splatter inquired. Goose stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make disreputable love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that tank and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke pistol growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, blood splatter will be fiercely-loyal no longer. As for you, Goose, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

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