iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the pathless bag of drugs, by goop

”My dear goop! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the bag of drugs

“As do I” goop replied gracefully. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke haunted graveyard of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the bag of drugs cried aloud. “Compared to you, haunted graveyard is like a sadistic boy mayor of secondlife.” The bag of drugs then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear pathless bag of drugs, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” g paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it goop, my love?” the bag of drugs inquired. goop stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make underhanded love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that rabid dog and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke haunted graveyard growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, bag of drugs will be pathless no longer. As for you, goop, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the pathless bag of drugs to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

$13.99 Digital