Wanted by the FBI: Girlkisser420
The FBI is offering a reward of up to $27,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator Girlkisser420.
Girlkisser420 has the following tattoos: a dragon on their lower back; a laser beam atop a therapist on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a weed whacker on their forehead.
Girlkisser420 is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera clearly attacking the store clerk with a friendly grandma. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $6000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted Girlkisser420 two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered friendly grandma to a confused homeless person. If you see Girlkisser420, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described Girlkisser420 to be as “sadistic, cowardly, and a terrible dresser to boot.”