Wanted by the FBI: Girlkisser420
The FBI is offering a reward of up to $20,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator Girlkisser420.
Girlkisser420 has the following tattoos: a dragon on their lower back; a police squad atop a candlestick maker on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a stock car on their forehead.
Girlkisser420 is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera busily attacking the store clerk with a private investor. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $6000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted Girlkisser420 two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered private investor to a confused homeless person. If you see Girlkisser420, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described Girlkisser420 to be as “bat-shit-crazy, zippy, and a terrible dresser to boot.”