GamerFuji
Wanted by the FBI: GamerFuji
The FBI is offering a reward of up to $3,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator GamerFuji.
Remarks:
GamerFuji has the following tattoos: a factory reset button on their lower back; a wrinkle atop a rough-skinned newt on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a mess on their forehead.
Details:
GamerFuji is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera honestly attacking the store clerk with a cuddle party. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $4000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted GamerFuji two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered cuddle party to a confused homeless person. If you see GamerFuji, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described GamerFuji to be as “free-loading, slap happy, and a terrible dresser to boot.”