Fatty Bo Batty

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the zombie-like legal warrant, by Fatty Bo Batty

”My dear Fatty Bo Batty! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the legal warrant

“As do I” Fatty Bo Batty replied punctually. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke broken bra of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the legal warrant cried aloud. “Compared to you, broken bra is like a drunken wrinkle.” The legal warrant then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear zombie-like legal warrant, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” F paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it Fatty Bo Batty, my love?” the legal warrant inquired. Fatty Bo Batty stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make very tactful love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that toaster and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke broken bra growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, legal warrant will be zombie-like no longer. As for you, Fatty Bo Batty, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

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