Fatty Bo Batty

Wanted by the FBI: Fatty Bo Batty

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $10,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator Fatty Bo Batty.

Remarks:

Fatty Bo Batty has the following tattoos: a telephone on their lower back; a mood atop a travel guidebook on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a lettuce on their forehead.

Details:

Fatty Bo Batty is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera fiercely attacking the store clerk with a trust fund. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $6000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted Fatty Bo Batty two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered trust fund to a confused homeless person. If you see Fatty Bo Batty, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described Fatty Bo Batty to be as “sadistic, craggy, and a terrible dresser to boot.”