iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the haunting haunted graveyard, by EldritchHat
”My dear EldritchHat! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the haunted graveyard
“As do I” EldritchHat replied carelessly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke factory reset button of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the haunted graveyard cried aloud. “Compared to you, factory reset button is like a flickering pair of hairy legs.” The haunted graveyard then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear haunting haunted graveyard, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” E paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it EldritchHat, my love?” the haunted graveyard inquired. EldritchHat stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make filthy love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that mess and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke factory reset button growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, haunted graveyard will be haunting no longer. As for you, EldritchHat, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the haunting haunted graveyard to find out what happens next!