bumpgrrl

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the nighttime dog poop, by bumpgrrl

”My dear bumpgrrl! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the dog poop

“As do I” bumpgrrl replied tensely. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke keepsake machete of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the dog poop cried aloud. “Compared to you, keepsake machete is like a filthy factory reset button.” The dog poop then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear nighttime dog poop, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” b paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it bumpgrrl, my love?” the dog poop inquired. bumpgrrl stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make mischievous love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that candlestick maker and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke keepsake machete growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, dog poop will be nighttime no longer. As for you, bumpgrrl, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”


Purchase a copy of The Taming of the nighttime dog poop to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

$13.99 Digital