iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the sticky coffee pot, by bumpgrrl

”My dear bumpgrrl! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the coffee pot

“As do I” bumpgrrl replied boldly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke lettuce of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the coffee pot cried aloud. “Compared to you, lettuce is like a unspoken rough-skinned newt.” The coffee pot then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear sticky coffee pot, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” b paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it bumpgrrl, my love?” the coffee pot inquired. bumpgrrl stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make emerging love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that patrolman and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke lettuce growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, coffee pot will be sticky no longer. As for you, bumpgrrl, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

Purchase a copy of The Taming of the sticky coffee pot to find out what happens next!

$15.99 Paperback

$13.99 Digital

bumpgrrl has appeared in:

The Creeper from the Block Lagoon