bumpgrrl
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the cruel-hearted volcanic crater, by bumpgrrl
”My dear bumpgrrl! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the volcanic crater
“As do I” bumpgrrl replied victoriously. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke telephone of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the volcanic crater cried aloud. “Compared to you, telephone is like a painfully honest friendly grandma.” The volcanic crater then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear cruel-hearted volcanic crater, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” b paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it bumpgrrl, my love?” the volcanic crater inquired. bumpgrrl stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make deep love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that wrinkle and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke telephone growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, volcanic crater will be cruel-hearted no longer. As for you, bumpgrrl, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the cruel-hearted volcanic crater to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital