bumpgrrl

Wanted by the FBI: bumpgrrl

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $20,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator bumpgrrl.

Remarks:

bumpgrrl has the following tattoos: a karate master on their lower back; a kitty atop a sweet tailpipe on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a trust fund on their forehead.

Details:

bumpgrrl is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera thoughtfully attacking the store clerk with a pair of hairy legs. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $9000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted bumpgrrl two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered pair of hairy legs to a confused homeless person. If you see bumpgrrl, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described bumpgrrl to be as “gripping, hateful, and a terrible dresser to boot.”