bumpgrrl

Wanted by the FBI: bumpgrrl

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $24,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator bumpgrrl.

Remarks:

bumpgrrl has the following tattoos: a dragon on their lower back; a mad cow atop a travel guidebook on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a toilet seat on their forehead.

Details:

bumpgrrl is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera shyly attacking the store clerk with a factory reset button. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $5000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted bumpgrrl two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered factory reset button to a confused homeless person. If you see bumpgrrl, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described bumpgrrl to be as “confused, slippery, and a terrible dresser to boot.”