goop

iUniverse Publishing presents…

The Taming of the deadly legend, by goop

”My dear goop! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the legend

“As do I” goop replied equally. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke twinkling diamond of Canterbury in the morning!”

“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the legend cried aloud. “Compared to you, twinkling diamond is like a splashed party.” The legend then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.

“Oh, my dear deadly legend, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” g paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”

“What is it goop, my love?” the legend inquired. goop stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make deprived love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that furnace and shove it up-”

At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke twinkling diamond growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, legend will be deadly no longer. As for you, goop, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”

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