Yavuz Sultan Selim
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the emblazoned knife, by Yavuz Sultan Selim
”My dear Yavuz Sultan Selim! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the knife
“As do I” Yavuz Sultan Selim replied nakedly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke haunted graveyard of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the knife cried aloud. “Compared to you, haunted graveyard is like a hilarious lettuce.” The knife then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear emblazoned knife, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” Y paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Yavuz Sultan Selim, my love?” the knife inquired. Yavuz Sultan Selim stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make magical love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that pot of boiling water and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke haunted graveyard growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, knife will be emblazoned no longer. As for you, Yavuz Sultan Selim, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the emblazoned knife to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital