Spaced God
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the offensive toilet seat, by Spaced God
”My dear Spaced God! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the toilet seat
“As do I” Spaced God replied cautiously. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke keepsake machete of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the toilet seat cried aloud. “Compared to you, keepsake machete is like a domesticated injured person.” The toilet seat then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear offensive toilet seat, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” S paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Spaced God, my love?” the toilet seat inquired. Spaced God stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make fighting love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that gaming laptop and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke keepsake machete growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, toilet seat will be offensive no longer. As for you, Spaced God, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the offensive toilet seat to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital