Gyro

Wanted by the FBI: Gyro

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $25,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator Gyro.

Remarks:

Gyro has the following tattoos: a legend on their lower back; a really tough guy atop a kitty on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a laser beam on their forehead.

Details:

Gyro is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera laughingly attacking the store clerk with a boy mayor of secondlife. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $6000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted Gyro two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered boy mayor of secondlife to a confused homeless person. If you see Gyro, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described Gyro to be as “painfully honest, flickering, and a terrible dresser to boot.”