Napoleon Blownapart

Wanted by the FBI: Napoleon Blownapart

The FBI is offering a reward of up to $40,000 for information that leads to the identification, arrest, and conviction of internet commentator Napoleon Blownapart.

Remarks:

Napoleon Blownapart has the following tattoos: a therapist on their lower back; a dingle berry atop a mood on their right ankle; and a photo-realistic image of a dragon on their forehead.

Details:

Napoleon Blownapart is wanted for the armed robbery of an adult novelty toy location. They were recorded on camera regularly attacking the store clerk with a keepsake machete. After the assault, they ransacked the store and ran off, stealing an estimated $8000 worth of used Bad Dragon toys. A second security camera spotted Napoleon Blownapart two blocks down the road, handing the blood-splattered keepsake machete to a confused homeless person. If you see Napoleon Blownapart, call our hotline immediately. Do not attempt to apprehend this suspect on your own, as witnesses have described Napoleon Blownapart to be as “embarrassed, pea-brained, and a terrible dresser to boot.”