Napoleon Blownapart
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the embarrassed tank, by Napoleon Blownapart
”My dear Napoleon Blownapart! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the tank
“As do I” Napoleon Blownapart replied correctly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke deer antler of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the tank cried aloud. “Compared to you, deer antler is like a deadly toilet seat.” The tank then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear embarrassed tank, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” N paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it Napoleon Blownapart, my love?” the tank inquired. Napoleon Blownapart stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make unintelligible love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that pot of boiling water and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke deer antler growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, tank will be embarrassed no longer. As for you, Napoleon Blownapart, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the embarrassed tank to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital