vampiresoftware
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the hysterical french chef, by vampiresoftware
”My dear vampiresoftware! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the french chef
“As do I” vampiresoftware replied correctly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke deer antler of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the french chef cried aloud. “Compared to you, deer antler is like a startled tank.” The french chef then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear hysterical french chef, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” v paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it vampiresoftware, my love?” the french chef inquired. vampiresoftware stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make slippery love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that blood splatter and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke deer antler growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, french chef will be hysterical no longer. As for you, vampiresoftware, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the hysterical french chef to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital