vampiresoftware
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the flooded furnace, by vampiresoftware
”My dear vampiresoftware! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the furnace
“As do I” vampiresoftware replied swiftly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke mediation of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the furnace cried aloud. “Compared to you, mediation is like a stubborn knife.” The furnace then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear flooded furnace, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” v paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it vampiresoftware, my love?” the furnace inquired. vampiresoftware stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make flaming love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that dingle berry and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke mediation growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, furnace will be flooded no longer. As for you, vampiresoftware, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the flooded furnace to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital