bumpgrrl
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the filthy volcanic crater, by bumpgrrl
”My dear bumpgrrl! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the volcanic crater
“As do I” bumpgrrl replied truthfully. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke twinkling diamond of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the volcanic crater cried aloud. “Compared to you, twinkling diamond is like a territorial toaster.” The volcanic crater then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear filthy volcanic crater, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” b paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it bumpgrrl, my love?” the volcanic crater inquired. bumpgrrl stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make haunting love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that corn cake and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke twinkling diamond growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, volcanic crater will be filthy no longer. As for you, bumpgrrl, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the filthy volcanic crater to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital