bumpgrrl
iUniverse Publishing presents…
The Taming of the deadly decrepit Irish cottage, by bumpgrrl
”My dear bumpgrrl! You’ll never know how much I truly love you!” said the decrepit Irish cottage
“As do I” bumpgrrl replied fondly. “Alas, our love was not meant to be. After all, you are to be wed to the great duke rough-skinned newt of Canterbury in the morning!”
“But he is not a world-renown podcast member like you are!” the decrepit Irish cottage cried aloud. “Compared to you, rough-skinned newt is like a hysterical french chef.” The decrepit Irish cottage then spat upon the floor, as to prove her point.
“Oh, my dear deadly decrepit Irish cottage, I know all too well what you mean. But that is simply how the world turns. Unless…” b paused for a moment to think. “No, that would not be the proper Victorian thing to do...”
“What is it bumpgrrl, my love?” the decrepit Irish cottage inquired. bumpgrrl stared back at her, then broke into a smile. “Unless we elope my love. Come with me, let us run into the night, and make sickened love under the moonlight! Maybe we can even do that thing again where you take that sneaky criminal and shove it up-”
At that very moment, the bedroom door slammed open, shocking the two lovers. “I’m afraid that won’t be happening,” great duke rough-skinned newt growled, leaning against the door frame. “For tomorrow, after the wedding, decrepit Irish cottage will be deadly no longer. As for you, bumpgrrl, you will be hanged for your adulterous crimes!”
Purchase a copy of The Taming of the deadly decrepit Irish cottage to find out what happens next!
$15.99 Paperback
$13.99 Digital